Today was Kill-Angie day.
... A combination of PMS, stress, expectations from people, plain tiredness and a whole load of school work and tuition prep pending rendered me an incoherent fool this afternoon. I was rushing from place to place, trying to get presents, racking my head for the perfect V-day pressie, whilst juggling calls from my dance ' employer' to get some stupid obscure cd by dick lee that turned out to be a 10-yr old antique that has long been taken off the racks. Freakin wasted my time and energy running all over town.
I was so drained i totally broke down when i called my dahlin'. It was quite a sight really. This gal, laden with bags of groceries, grasping her hp tightly in one hand, standing by the HV bus stop and sobbing like a baby.
I was a mess. Wanted so badly for someone to bury my head into.. but all i had was a hp and a somewhat reproachful voice to comfort me.
Thank God though.. that He did make my day much more bearable in the end... He gave me strength to last me through 2 hrs of tuition, and Huahui actually came down specially to pick and send me to church for IDC. Yet what really touched me today was when he presented me with a little neatly wrapped clay container of chili beef noodles that he cooked just for me. I was overwhelmed.
~ ~ ~
Currently feeling: Damn puffy-eyed but blissful.
~ ~ ~
I've learnt that when you are in a relationship, you can love that special someone so much, but you can't expect that person to be perfect and never ever hurt you. As long as 2 people are imperfect, they will somehow hurt one another at some point in life.
Even in our relationship with God... we probably constantly hurt Him with our fickle-mindedness, disobedience and our lacklustre desire to spend time with Him. Yet He doesn't love us any less, and above all, He accepts us despite we being so imperfect and unappreciative.
I'm gonna learn from that. I used to fear betrayal a lot, to fear being hurt when i start to love someone. So much so that i constantly brought up my insecurities and kept insisting that my partner do this/that so as to perfect the relationship.
I never realised I was such a selfish pig until today.
** Major Reconstruction Time**
... A combination of PMS, stress, expectations from people, plain tiredness and a whole load of school work and tuition prep pending rendered me an incoherent fool this afternoon. I was rushing from place to place, trying to get presents, racking my head for the perfect V-day pressie, whilst juggling calls from my dance ' employer' to get some stupid obscure cd by dick lee that turned out to be a 10-yr old antique that has long been taken off the racks. Freakin wasted my time and energy running all over town.
I was so drained i totally broke down when i called my dahlin'. It was quite a sight really. This gal, laden with bags of groceries, grasping her hp tightly in one hand, standing by the HV bus stop and sobbing like a baby.
I was a mess. Wanted so badly for someone to bury my head into.. but all i had was a hp and a somewhat reproachful voice to comfort me.
Thank God though.. that He did make my day much more bearable in the end... He gave me strength to last me through 2 hrs of tuition, and Huahui actually came down specially to pick and send me to church for IDC. Yet what really touched me today was when he presented me with a little neatly wrapped clay container of chili beef noodles that he cooked just for me. I was overwhelmed.
~ ~ ~
Currently feeling: Damn puffy-eyed but blissful.
~ ~ ~
I've learnt that when you are in a relationship, you can love that special someone so much, but you can't expect that person to be perfect and never ever hurt you. As long as 2 people are imperfect, they will somehow hurt one another at some point in life.
Even in our relationship with God... we probably constantly hurt Him with our fickle-mindedness, disobedience and our lacklustre desire to spend time with Him. Yet He doesn't love us any less, and above all, He accepts us despite we being so imperfect and unappreciative.
I'm gonna learn from that. I used to fear betrayal a lot, to fear being hurt when i start to love someone. So much so that i constantly brought up my insecurities and kept insisting that my partner do this/that so as to perfect the relationship.
I never realised I was such a selfish pig until today.
** Major Reconstruction Time**
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