Off to Sabah in 4 days' time... Away from my friends, away from my comfort zone, away from familiar chill-out moments at Holland Village, away from the empty hole his absence is starting to create.
I'm glad that for a moment, i can find myself interested in another guy. Is it called rebound? Or is it called moving on? Haha.. but nah... that guy will remain a mere crush. Too many differences.
Lately, i've been feeling... Unfeeling. Don't really know how to describe it.. it's like realizing you are in the middle of nowhere, like walking on and on for hundreds of miles and suddenly stopping to wonder what the destination is. I can no longer define myself. I'm starting not to care about many things. At times, I look at him and i tell myself, this used to be the guy i felt so passionately for and cried my heart out for. Right now, i can only see the widening distance between us. We are friends, but friends with so much that can no longer be said. For fear of destroying the fragile fabric of friendship we have struggled so much to weave.

I want so much to understand things sometimes, but my senses are getting duller.
Dear Lord, let this 22 days in Sabah destroy this empty shell that i am now. Let me start a new chapter in life, let me feel alive again and rejoice in the simplest things. Above all, teach me to love again, and this time without rules and conditions.